We boarded the ship; it was the Princess Cruise Lines Star Princess, which I later christened “The S S Behemoth”. This ship is 950 feet long, more than big enough to be lost at sea for 12 days.

Looking to one of the pools on the upper deck, I noticed the age of fellow passengers and wondered where the life generating cocoons were located. This was a country for old men. A nursing home at sea.

I could only look forward to following their walkers around the decks and on the elevators.

We arrived in Croatia at sunrise. The captain had obviously planned this, as it seemed much too coincidental. As a matter of fact, we arrived at every port of call at sunrise. This in itself confirmed my hunch about the captain and his plans. He had done this before.

I had expected to play “dodge bullet” in Croatia. All I had seen on television was people running from building to building with little puffs of dust from sniper fire following them. I did not look forward to this trek at all. The war was long over, but the haunting images seemed fresh in my mind. When informed of this excursion during the planning stages of our trip, I had suggested a quick jaunt to Somalia if we were still alive. All this proved to be false as the country was brochure-beautiful and peaceful with the exception of a few unruly tourists, but I will not speak of them as they are family.

We secured a taxi at the port, which took us to the “old city” of Dubrovnik. His command of the English language was intriguing. We learned he was raised in Sunnyvale, California, and had repatriated a few years before the war. He had not intended to join, even with the city under attack, until his neighbor and son was killed on his street. He was attempting to put out the fire in his car, when shelling resumed. They both died in our cab driver’s garage. So much for pacifism.

He told us of the constant bombardment from the Serbian Army, who held the high ground above the city. The signs of war can still be seen. A short drive to the top of the mountain and the war memorial consisting of a giant cross, a hole in a wall from a Serbian tank can still there. The wall was made by the Napoleonic army when they were defending the same ground a couple of hundred of years ago.

While admiring the grand view of the old town of Dubrovnik below, he explained that after the war children, and some adults, had the misfortune of “finding” some of the land mines left behind. There were thousands of them. One idea came to mind was to heard sheep through the suspected areas, and when a land mine was found they had a BBQ. This practice was put to a stop by international indignation.

“Would they rather have our children find them?”